Archive for the 'Story' Category

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The Prophet Re-visiting

March 23, 2008

All twenty-six chapters of “The Prophet Re-visiting” are now online. (With apologies to Kahlil Gibran)

You have a good memory, conceded the prophet.
And then it was No-one who spoke:
Suffer not yet our ears to hunger for your voice. Tell us something, anything, of the meaning of life, so that these people here (a broad sweeping gesture) shall not return to their homes empty handed and starving.

And patiently the prophet raised his voice one final time:
My dear son. The meaning of life? Tell me, dear people of Orphalese, have I tonight spoken of aught else? But let there be truly no cause for suffering, for the meaning of life can be summarized in four simple - 2

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The Lottery Ticket

December 22, 2007

With a stiff right arm, outstretched, the woman in the scarf approaches the one armed bandit. They are about to shake hands.

In a beaten stroller her baby is dozing lightly.

The machine swallows her ticket, and for a moment the hollowness in her stomach is allowed to grow. It’s a machine to play the game for you. To cheat you even of the pleasure of comparing numbers one by one. One-armed robbery. But this agonizing comparing of digits is precisely the thing she has no stomach for.

Soon the ticket is returned to her. Just then, as she’s turning towards the lottery counter, the monstrous contraption goes off like Mardi Gras, with lights, music and all eyes drawn to her.

Later, much later, she will begin to have nagging thoughts, wondering what this carnival was really all about.

Several Months Later

Uninspired by the menu or the decor, Stanley lets his index finger land on the page.
“Number 21,” he says.

What had distracted him then was a preoccupation with the waitress. Something about her.
“Well done?” She looks at the time-quantification device on her wrist, making quite a show it.

Stanley adjusts his bifocals and squints a little, in an effort to see what he ordered.
“Medium rare, thank you”. He opts for a salad instead of fries. Relieved, the waitress spins on her heels.

Stanley is mildly amused by her lack of patience. As a seller of watches, he’s used to waiting for the undecided.

And then it hits him. Didn’t her hair use to be purple?

Several Months Earlier

With a stiff right arm, outstretched, Saint Nicholas is ringing his bell like a sideways metronome. His haggard middle aged body is tense; his red coat loose over a belly that someone forgot to stuff.

Ho, Ho… hum.

The shoppers can’t see him. His incessant tolling cautions them to avert their eyes, as they brush past his podium, bucket empty save for the few coins he himself put there.

Yet he is not quite invisible. The girl in the purple hair has been observing him for an hour, mesmerized by the jerky motions of his right arm. Finding his mortification revolting. With his endurance, the jingler reminds her of an old fashioned mechanical toy, never forcing a smile.

Across from Saint Nick, a youngish couple has been eying watches for some time.
“How much are you planning to spend?” she asks carefully, not taking her eye off the golden time-piece.
“What do you think?” he shrugs, in search of a ballpark.
She glares at him. “This is Christmas.”
He will never understand her at all.
“Well, how much did you spend?”
“Fifty bucks.” she says a little too promptly, then adding “Give or take.”
“Sounds about right,” he shrugs. She sighs, and moves back to the other case, where the cheaper stuff is kept.

Surely this cannot go on forever. Wearily Stanley looks up from his own watch to find Bess in the purple hair, smiling. She has frozen the moment, timed by him to have occured at exactly eight forty-seven – the moment at which they realized, simultaneously, that the day had gone on too long. A “co-incidence”.

“Your watches are overpriced” she yells silently across the mall.
“Your game is a sham,” he shouts back, likewise without sound.
In the end, the only thing capable of saving either one of them are the familiar opening bars of Auld Lang Syne.

Saint Nicholas takes his cue from the muzak. Mechanical toys, like watches, must wind down.

The man quickly pays for a designer timepiece that the girl doesn’t really need or like, and suddenly, without the incessant ringing in their ears, the mall is quiet. Not a creature is stirring.

Except for Stanley and Bess who are now alone in the mall. And Stanley, who has no particular preference for purple, decides on this, the final day before Christmas, that he will not go home without his chance at ten million.

“Hello”, he says awkwardly, making the jump from his counter to hers. Without all the people, the physical space between their respective universes suddenly becomes ridiculously small.

Bess only smiles, the naturalness of her expression accentuated by the artificiality of the hair. At least she picked one colour and stuck with it, thinks Stanley.
“I’d like one.”
Bess looks at him blankly. “One what?” she asks.
“A ticket of course. What else are you selling?” And then, more cautiously, “Before you close the till that is.”
“Already closed.”
“It was supposed to be a stocking stuffer,” he lies apologetically. Somewhere behind him, an altercation is brewing. “You sure go out of your way not to sell anything,” he adds, a little too loudly.

She grumbles, and with a huge show of inconvenience, prints him a quick pick. Not what he wanted really. But when Stanley motions to pay for it, she stops him with a showy gesture.
“This one’s on the corporation,” she says.

“Its a good thing you don’t make your living selling watches,” Stanley says, sounding a little embarrassed. Never look a gift horse in the mouth they say.

“Lotteries are dumb. The odds are astronomical, and you’re an idiot for trying.”
“Maybe, but you should be nice to me. I might not share my winnings.”
“I’ll take that chance,” she responds dryly, warming to his banter non the same.
But Stanley has noticed that she is no longer looking at him, having directed her attention to something happening beyond his left shoulder. He is about to turn when suddenly, his watch begins to beep.

“Oops, I almost forgot.” And with a slap to his forehead, he is gone, almost running over the woman in the scarf, the janitor having been unsuccessful in his attempts to usher her out.
The woman in the scarf looks to be thirty-five going on forty five. In reality she’s twenty-eight and has a small child in a rickety stroller. The janitor has given up trying to reason with her. This leaves only Bess.

“Is it too late for a quick pick?” Her stroller is creaking as she approaches the till.
“Slightly!”
Silence. Between them the quick pick that Stanley, in his hurry, forgot to grab.
“What is that?” the woman asks, pointing.
“That belongs to the gentleman who nearly flattened you”
“I don’t think he’ll be back for it.”
“The mall is closed, ma’am. Please don’t make me call security.”
No response.

“Think of it as a penny saved.” she says, avoiding her eyes.
“Are you for real?” her cold hard face betraying nothing. Fear and exasperation are feelings she has learned to mask, in the same way her scarf hides the unsightly rash on her neck. It suits her even, clashing only with the shoes.

St. Nicholas has gathered his things. Nearly invisible, he shuffles past them and out the door.

“I’m sorry,” Bess apologizes, “Its just that you don’t look like someone who can afford to blow her money on lottery tickets…” Bess is smiling at the androgynous baby where “Hello Kitty” is battling it out with the “Power Rangers”, neither accessory asserting its authority. Bess is confounded, but you can’t ask these things.

“You think because I’m desperate, I’m stupid.” The woman has the upper hand now, angry that ever so briefly, she’d let this hair-dyed hussy get to her.

“I didn’t mean to insinuate… you seemed upset…”
Nothing left to say. Bess only smiles feebly sliding the ticket towards the woman. But the woman has turned to go, tears welling up now.

“I’ve re-opened the till, Ma’am.”
The lady in the scarf digs for her purse, suppressing tears. As her fingers scramble amongst the coins, she knows that she could not possibly bear to come up short. One course of action remains. The lady in the scarf yanks her stroller around and runs.

Bess is at a loss. She grabs the stupid ticket from this stupid lottery in this stupid messed up world with stupid people in it, and runs after the woman and her baby, and presses the ticket into her free hand before she can grab the door handle.

Thankfulness too is something the woman has learned to mask. But there is genuine thankfulness behind her tears, as she clutches this ticket of destiny and Bess holds the door for her.

Christmas comes and goes, and for one day of the year, the mall is closed.

Two Days Later

Suddenly, the monstrous contraption goes off like Mardi Gras, with lights, music and all eyes drawn towards her. The baby is no longer sleeping, though her wail (a girl – who knew) cannot be heard above the din.

“Did I win something?”

“Wow, a thousand dollars!” And with this, Bess ceremoniously removes the crisp 1000 dollar bill she appeared to have been saving for this very moment, from the hidden depths of her till. A till seemingly reserved for dispensation.

The wall between them has dissolved completely, washed away by tears of joy. They are sharing the most surreal moment of their lives. A lottery that functioned as a lottery should. A game Bess had assumed to be un-winnable.

For some reason, knowable only to Bess, the lightness of the moment passes quickly. A wall of awkwardness re-appears. The woman in the scarf senses it too. Overcome by an odd fear, she bolts for the door, clutching her winnings like a common thief.

As for Bess…

Bess doesn’t work at the mall anymore. Mysteriously she quit her job soon afterwards and disappeared without a formal goodbye.

Sometime thereafter, a co-worker noticed her re-appearance at the edge of town, where she had apparently opened a small diner from her savings.

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Monopoly Date

April 8, 2007

A lot of people seemed to really like this story.


Monopoly Date

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Defensive Shield

April 5, 2007

The heat was a real thing. The way it distorted the landscape into floating lines – the heat alone was tangible, reducing all else to pre-apocalyptic chimera.

The white cobblestones glared at him, daring him to trespass. A doberman unleashed would have been as welcoming. The doorbell, when he finally reached it, performed the same wavy dance in front of his sweat-stung eyes; its post post-modern design mocking his fleshy finger’s attempt to operate it.

“Hold still”, he said out loud, poking wildly at the dancing apparition.

A bikini-clad girl answered the door. He at once cursed and blessed this heat, that made her so appealing, and him so hapless. His tie was too loud, the starched white shirt too itchy, and the suit, like his profession, held over from a previous era.

“Good day, Ma’am. You have a pool?” he asked, letting his duffel bag drop, narrowly missing her bare feet.

“No,” she said simply, then added “The Wannemakers do.” She assumed, naively, that he had knocked on the wrong door; which, in a way, he had.

“The Wannemakers?” he asked, looking at her kind of funny, as if perhaps he wasn’t sure where he’d heard the name before.

“They live next door.” Boredom kept her there, unable to slam the door on this clown.

“You must be on your way over there right now.” And, seeing her expression clouding over, he said “It being such a hot day and all.”

“All this is going somewhere?”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t introduce myself.” The man introduced himself as Gary Wilson, offering up a mushy hand. From the bowels of the colossal bungalow, Gary could hear a male voice. “Who is it?”

“Its Gary Wilson,” the girl shouted into the hallway. No response. And, turning to Gary, “You were saying then?”

“Was that your Dad? I’d like to speak to him.”

“Daddy. Gary Wilson wants to talk to you,” she screamed, forgetting this time to turn her head towards the house.

An unkempt man in his fifties shuffled to the door. The heat was less kind to him, than to the girl, his off-white tank top nothing but a sweat stain.

“Alright then. What are you selling?”

“Are you safe, Mr - ?” But So-and-so would not fill in the blank.

“Come again?”

“Are you protected? Real protection – peace of mind, this is, is what I can offer you.”
Gary found himself wondering whether this man had chosen the tank top expressly to showcase his impressive outcroppings of armpit hair.

“You’re here to sell me something. So what is it?”

“Imagine, if you will, an intruder. How would you protect your daughter?”

The bikini girl began to giggle stupidly. “A device to ward off intruders. How ironic”.
Gary ignored her.

“We have an alarm,” the man said wearily, sounding embarrassed. The girl stretched onto her tippy-toes, leaned against his steaming chest and gave him a long sloppy kiss on the mouth.

A salesman should never allow himself to be surprised. But surprises, by definition, catch one off guard. The trick then, is not to let it show.

“We’re married actually,” the man said lamely. He clearly found the situation less bearable than she did. Then he clarified, “I mean to say, that I am not her father”.

But certainly old enough, Gary thought to himself. He had at least thirty years on her.

“He hates it when I call him Daddy,” the girl piped in, hanging on his arm now.

Gary knew the time for pleasantries had passed.
“An alarm is not enough.” Gary let this statement hang a while, before elaborating. “An alarm functions once the intruder has penetrated your defensive shield. It is ineffective as a deterrent.”

“It’s hot.” the girl said having become bored of the intercourse.

“How well do you know the Wannemakers?” Gary was on the offensive now.

“Gary and Sue-Ellen?” the man asked. Great, another “Gary”, thought Gary.
“They’re nice enough.”

“But do you really know them?” Gary Wilson pressed on. And then, in conspirational tones. “You do realize that the Wannemakers’ R-triple-O is installed and operational.”
Gary knew the effect this would have. He could see it confirmed in the sour contortions of Mr. So-and-so’s face.

“What is this triple R-thingy anyway?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

“The R-triple-O?” Gary tried to let himself in. “Is there a place we could set it up?”
But the girl had stepped into his path, blocking him softly with her tits.

“How come you know so much about the Wannemakers’ defensive capabilities?”

“Why only last week – I installed it myself.” One lie more or less – it made no difference now.

“And they’ve got it pointed at us?” she wanted to know.

Gary clinched his teeth. Her rational side was getting on his nerves.

“The bastards,” the man with the off-white tank top stepped aside to let Gary into the house. Gary dragged his duffel bag over the doorstep, taking care to avoid contact with the wild tangle of armpit hair. Together, they strode off down the hallway.

The young wife, trailing behind them, was still not impressed.
“If it’s meant to work as a deterrent, how come the Wannemakers never told us they got one?”

Her hairy husband saved Gary the trouble of having to conjure an answer. “Obviously, the Wannemakers are not to be trusted,” he ejaculated into her ear.

I’ll have to remember that, Gary thought to himself.

The hallway led them straight through the house and into the yard, where Gary plunged into his duffel bag. He picked a suitably secluded corner of the yard and set up the device.

The unit itself hardly merits description. A rocket is a rocket, whether one calls it that, or one refers to it as a “shield”. The difference between an offensive and a defensive weapon lies primarily in its use, not its shape. The model Gary had brought looked in-offensive enough, appealing even, in beige with a pink cone on top.

“I doubt we would ever need such a powerful defensive weapon,” the girl purred, but the way she gently stroked the shaft told Gary that she wanted it.

“What does this button do?” Her index finger flicked ever so lightly across the knob, dancing a circle around it, teasing but not touching.

“Oh my Lord. Never ever…” Gary turned white as an unstained sheet.

But it was too late. The little knob was throbbing now, indicating that the anticipatory self-defense mechanism had already been activated.